Therapy for what you're carrying

• Complex Grief

  Most people expect grief to soften on some kind of schedule. Sharper at first, then gradually less. When that is not what happens, you can start to wonder what is wrong with you.

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• Grieving a Pet

  You may have already heard some version of it. It was just a dog. You can get another cat. At least it was not a person.

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• Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss

  You were holding a future. The room you had started imagining, the month you would have met them, the way you were going to tell people.

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• Losing a Parent

  People will tell you it is the natural order of things, as if that makes it smaller. It does not.

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• Anticipatory Grief

  You are mourning someone who is still in the next room. That is a strange and lonely place to stand.

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• Recovering from Gaslighting

  The hardest part is not the fights. It is that you no longer trust your own account of them.

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• Codependency

  You are the one who notices. Who anticipates. Who has already handled it before anyone else realized there was something to handle.

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• Emotionally Immature Parents

  Nothing dramatic may have happened. On paper it was a fine childhood, and you have never quite been able to explain why it left you so alone.

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• High-Functioning Anxiety

  You deliver. You are early. You are the person other people describe as having it together, and you have never once felt that way from the inside.

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• People-Pleasing

  You said yes again. You knew while you were saying it that you did not want to, and you said it anyway, warmly, before you had time to think.

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• Setting Boundaries

  You know the boundary. You have rehearsed it in the shower a dozen times. And the moment arrives and something in you folds, and you agree to the thing you meant to decline.

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• Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

  You grew up in a house where someone else was always the main character, and your job was to make the performance go smoothly.

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• Burnout

  You used to care about this work, this family, this life. Now you are going through the motions of caring, and the gap between the two is starting to frighten you.

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• Perfectionism

  From the outside it looks like high standards. From the inside it is closer to never being allowed to rest, because anything you produce could be the thing that finally exposes you.

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• Depression

  People expect depression to look like sadness, so when what you have is flatness, it is easy to miss, or to dismiss. Nothing is technically wrong. You just cannot locate the point of anything.

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• Loneliness

  Your calendar is full. Your phone has numbers in it. And you cannot remember the last time a conversation went anywhere below the surface.

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• Self-Esteem

  You can list your accomplishments and feel none of them. Compliments slide off. Criticism, even imagined criticism, goes straight to the bone and lives there for days.

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• Imposter Syndrome

  You are objectively good at what you do, and you are waiting to be exposed. Those two facts have coexisted for years, and no promotion, degree, or compliment has resolved the tension.

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• Divorce When You Have Children

  Divorcing without children is hard. Divorcing with them is hard in a different dimension, because every decision you make lands on people you would die to protect.

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• Co-Parenting After Separation

  The relationship ended. The relationship did not end. You will be making decisions with this person, in some form, until your children are grown and long after.

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• Sudden & Traumatic Loss

  There was a before, and then there was a phone call, or a knock, or a moment, and nothing has been the same shape since.

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• Infertility

  Every month has a rhythm to it now. Hope, tracking, waiting, and then the arrival that confirms it did not happen again, and the whole cycle restarts before you have recovered from the last one.

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• Divorce After 50

  Ending a marriage of twenty or thirty years is not a bigger version of a short divorce. It is a different event entirely, closer to emigrating from a country you helped build.

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• Blended Families

  You fell in love with a person and inherited a family, and nobody warned you how long the blending actually takes, or how much of it would fall on you.

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• The Empty Nest

  You spent eighteen years being needed every single day, and then it stopped, all at once, on a weekend in August, and everyone around you called it a milestone.

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• Caregiver Stress

  You are raising children and caring for a parent at the same time, and somewhere in the middle of everyone else's needs, your own life has been quietly shelved.

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• Perimenopause & Mood

  You have been competent and even-keeled for decades, and now there is rage that arrives out of nowhere, anxiety you cannot explain, and a version of yourself you do not fully recognize.

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• Postpartum Anxiety

  The baby is finally asleep and you cannot be, because your mind is running images you would never say out loud, and your body will not stand down.

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• Becoming a Mother

  There is a word for what is happening to you that almost nobody uses: matrescence. Like adolescence, it is a full reconstruction of identity, body, and relationships, and like adolescence, it is disorienting even when it is wanted.

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• Single Parenting

  Every decision, every bill, every nightmare at 2am, every form, every fever, every first day of school. There is no one to hand any of it to, and there has not been for a while.

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If any of this sounds familiar, we can start there.

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