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[Now accepting new clients.  Book your free consultation today → ](/work-with-me)

[![Sharon Meyers Therapy logo](/assets/logo-sanddollar-B1yhAvCA.png)Sharon Meyers Therapy LCSW #106887 ](/)

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![A child's sneakers and backpack by a front door](/assets/divorce-with-children-CdcyC95e.jpg)

Therapy for

# Divorce When You Have Children 

Divorcing without children is hard. Divorcing with them is hard in a different dimension, because every decision you make lands on people you would die to protect.

You are allowed to need support that is just for you. In fact, your children benefit from it.

## The Conversation You Cannot Rehearse Enough 

Telling the children is the moment most parents dread more than the paperwork, the finances, all of it. You want to say it in a way that protects them, and there is no version that is not painful.

We prepare for it concretely. What to say at each age, what questions to expect, what not to promise, and how to handle the moment when one child cries and the other asks what is for dinner, because both of those happen.

We also plan for the weeks after, when the follow-up questions arrive at bedtime, one at a time, and you have to answer honestly without handing them adult material.

## Grieving the Childhood You Planned for Them 

Under the logistics there is a specific grief: the intact family, the one house, the ordinary Tuesday dinners you assumed they would have. Letting that picture go can feel like failing them, even when the marriage itself was harming everyone in it.

That guilt is worth examining rather than obeying. Children are not kept safe by the appearance of an intact home. They are kept safe by regulated, honest, available parents, and two households can provide that better than one saturated with conflict.

This does not make the grief wrong. It means you can mourn the plan and still know the decision was right.

## Parenting While You Are Grieving 

You are expected to be steady for them during the least steady season of your own life. Some days you manage it. Some days you cry in the car in the school pickup line and pull it together in ninety seconds.

Therapy gives you one place where you do not have to hold it together, which is most of what makes holding it together elsewhere possible.

We also work on the co-parenting relationship as it actually is, not as it should be, and on what your children need from you specifically, which is usually far less perfect than you fear.

## Related Reading

-   [Co-Parenting After Separation Read more → ](/therapy-for/co-parenting)
-   [Complex Grief Read more → ](/therapy-for/complex-grief)
-   [Burnout Read more → ](/therapy-for/burnout)

Sharon Meyers is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker offering telehealth sessions to adults located anywhere in California.

In Case of Emergency

This website is for informational purposes only. This practice is not a crisis service. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please do not wait for a reply.

-   Call [911](tel:911) or go to your nearest emergency room if you are in immediate danger.
-   Call or text [988](tel:988) to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
-   Text HOME to [741741](sms:741741) to reach the Crisis Text Line.

## Your children need one steady parent more than they need two under one roof. 

Schedule a free consultation to talk through where you are.

[Schedule a Free Consultation](/begin-here)

### Sharon Meyers Therapy

LCSW #106887  
Online therapy throughout California  
Office located in Berkeley, CA

Quick Links

-   [Home](/)
-   [About](/about)
-   [Specialties](/specialties)
-   [FAQ](/faq)
-   [Blog](/blog)
-   [Contact](/begin-here)
-   [Therapy For](/therapy-for)
-   [Online Therapy](/online-therapy)
-   [Guides](/guides)

Contact

-   [(415) 335-7446](tel:4153357446)
-   [sharon@sharonmeyerstherapy.com](mailto:sharon@sharonmeyerstherapy.com)

[Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/sharon-meyers-berkeley-ca/1080260)

**In case of emergency:** call or text [988](tel:988) or go to your nearest emergency room. This website is for informational purposes only.

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